Mythology Mayhem: Zeus is a Terrible Father

It’s time to talk about the head honcho, the King of the Gods, the… absolute unrelenting sex addict with a fancy lightning bolt and more children than the civil service has paperwork: Zeus.

Zeus was hidden from his dad, Kronos, as an infant because Kronos had been systematically swallowing his children (not a dirty joke, but ha) because he thought they would overthrow him (he was right). Baby Zeus may have been raised by a goat. This would explain a lot. When he reached adulthood, Zeus overthrew Kronos and the Titans, and became both King of the Gods and Lord of the Sky, hence the lightning bolt. He married Hera, the goddess of marriage, which is ironic as in the myths Zeus spends most of his immortality chasing girls/boys/literally anything that moves.

99% of problems in Greek mythology arise because Zeus has had a kid with someone who is not his wife, or has slept with someone who is not his wife, and his wife is pissed about it. Usually the kid gets it in the neck (Heracles is a good example) and the Lord of the Sky carries on. If he were a mortal today, there would be more than a whiff of Entitled Rich White Dude about him.

You can learn more about Zeus (well, sort of) on the excellent Tumblr account wtfzeus. My fabulously appropriate Zeus-inspired cards are available on Folksy You can browse my other Mythology Mayhem cards, prints and pencils here.

blue grey and white card reading 'I love you more than Zeus loves his current nymph/mortal/minor godling'

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